“This gorilla is coming through the jungle, and he hits the end of the jungle, and he, like, separates the vines, and there’s this savanna stretched out in front of him. And the first thing he sees is this lion, with his head caught in a log. And he thinks, you know, this is my chance to — This is my only chance, maybe. And so he starts, you know, starts in with the lion, and the lion is really thrashing around. He’s really not excited by this. And just before the gorilla finishes, the lion breaks the log, and the gorilla pulls out, and he runs for the jungle, and he’s booking it. He’s booking it through the trees and the vines, and the lion’s hot on his heels, and he gets to this encampment, like, a human encampment, and there’s, like, a little guy there, a little safari man, and he’s got a safari hat, and glasses, and a pipe, and he’s reading the newspaper. And the gorilla bonks him on the head, and drags him into the tent, and puts on the hat, and the glasses, and the pipe, and he sits there, like, behind the newspaper, like, waiting for the lion, and the lion runs through, and he sees the gorilla behind the paper, and he goes, ‘Hey!’ and the gorilla goes, ‘Hey.’ And he says, ‘Did you see a gorilla come through here?’ And the gorilla goes, ‘Oh, you mean the one that had sex with the lion that was stuck in the log?’ And the lion goes, ‘Oh my God, it’s in the papers already?!’” “O.K., so, a man and a woman, a married couple, go into divorce court. And they’re in their 90s. And as they walk through the courtroom doors, they’re yelling, and they’re screaming at each other, ‘I hate you, I hate you. I can’t stand you. Not another day, not another day.’ And they get in front of the judge, and they start yelling and screaming, ‘You’ve gotta give me a divorce. I can’t stand this woman anymore.’ ‘He’s killing me! He’s killing me!’ And the judge stops them and says, ‘Wait a moment. How old are you?’ And the man thinks and says, ‘Well, I’m 96.’ And the woman says, ‘I’m 94, Your Honor.’ And he says, ‘O.K., well, how long have you been married?’ ‘Oh golly, I think I was 18.’ ‘I was 16, and I’ve never had a peaceful day since, and I can’t stand him, and I hate him.’ And the judge says, ‘Wait a moment. Wait a moment. What took you so long?’ And they looked at each other, and became reflective, and they said, ‘We wanted to wait until the children died.’” “So, this old man’s walking down the road, with his chicken under his arm, when a Nazi stops him. ‘Where are you going with that chicken?’ says the Nazi. ‘I’m taking him to the market to get him some food.’ ‘And what are you gonna feed that chicken?’ says the Nazi. ‘I don’t know. I figured I’d give him some oats.’ ‘Oats?!’ says the Nazi. ‘And you’re gonna feed a chicken oats when there’s Germans starving?’ And he beats the old man up and leaves him in the gutter. The old man picks himself up, dusts himself off, picks up his chicken, and starts down the road again, when he runs into another Nazi. ‘Where are you going with that chicken?’ says the Nazi. ‘I’m taking him to the market to get him some food.’ ‘Food?’ says the Nazi. ‘What are you gonna feed that chicken?’ ‘I don’t know. I thought a little wheat.’ ‘Wheat?!’ says the Nazi. ‘You’re gonna feed a chicken wheat when there’s Germans starving?’ And he beats the old man up mercilessly and leaves him in the road. The old man picks himself up. He dusts himself off. He picks up his chicken, and starts down the road again, when he runs into another Nazi. ‘Where are you taking that chicken?’ says the Nazi. ‘I’m taking him to the market to get him some food.’ ‘And what are you gonna feed that chicken?’ says the Nazi. ‘I don’t know. I’ll give him a couple of bucks, let him get what he wants.’”